So you want to buy some heritage hogs, do you? The really rare ones? You’ve heard that the people raising these are making tons of money off of them, selling eight week old piglets for hundreds of dollars! And they are easy to raise; just let them go on your pasture and they will do fine! Sounds like easy money…

So, off you go into the wonderful World Wide Web of Google and type in, “really rare heritage hogs for sale”. Here we go…

The first site on the list is something called, “homegrownacres.com”. (Oops, that’s my farm site…skip that for now as I’m not writing this article to sell my hogs…).  Okay the second site listed is something like “bestpigsavailable.com” with lots of ads. That’s more like it! Since you want the best this must be the place!

So…you start looking down the list and see that these hogs are really expensive and everyone is taking reservations for future litters. Most of them cost $300 or more per piglet! Then you see this, “Really rare heritage hogs for sale! Only the best bloodlines! All of our pigs come from our excellent hogs that we searched the whole world for! $200 each! We have several ready to go!” YES! This is the one!

Why pay more than you have to? Why wait for piglets that aren’t even born yet? You talk with the farmer on the phone and he tells you that, yes indeed, these are the real thing, purebred registered really rare heritage hogs and his are the best. He keeps his price low because those other guys are just greedy and he is not in it for the money. He is dedicated to raising these really rare heritage pigs because that’s the right thing to do. All of his hogs are pasture fed. And he says he has some right now on the ground ready to go! So you tell him you will drive right out and get your shiny new really rare heritage pigs!

When you arrive on his farm (which is six hours from your place) at first you are a bit disappointed. You can’t see any hogs running around although he does have some really nice pasture out there. You meet the farmer and mention that it doesn’t look like the hogs have been on his pasture since you have read that hogs will root up the place. He tells you that the wonderful thing about really rare heritage hogs is that they don’t root! How cool! He says that, although they are usually out on pasture, right now he has all of his hogs in the barn as he wanted you to be able to choose.

He has you drive your truck around to the barn and gives you a look at his marvelous hogs. What you see is one boar, two sows and several piglets laying around in mud mixed with hay. Hmm…something seems not right. He tells you that, well, they had a lot of rain lately. Besides, hogs love mud! Okay, you think that’s probably right since you’ve always heard that. But why only one boar and two sows? “These things are in such high demand that I sold off several before you got here. But I kept the best!”

One of the sows, with pretty full teats, lays down and the piglets start nursing! Aren’t they weaned yet? “Oh yeah” he says, “They are all weaned but still like to take a nip or two when they can. They are all eight weeks old and have been weaned for weeks. They’ll do just fine out on your pasture.”

Then you mention that the boar’s legs look kind of funny. They are crossed! “Yep” the farmer says, “he tripped over a log when he was young. Don’t worry, that doesn’t get passed on to the piglets. Besides he isn’t the sire of your pigs.” Your excitement increases and you stop worrying about the conditions in the barn.

The farmer asks which ones you want and you choose the two largest piglets. He asks you to help him catch them and so the two of you walk in, grab the piglets and load them into the back of your truck. You ask if they will jump out and he says, don’t worry, we’ll make a crate from a couple of pallets and some rope.

Once the piglets are safely corralled in the back of your truck he asks for the $400. So you hand over the cash and ask for the registration papers for the piglets. He says that he actually doesn’t have them yet; the registry hasn’t got around to sending them back but, don’t worry, he will mail them to you as soon as he has them. You think, well I should get something, so you ask for a receipt. The farmer hems and haws, talking about how he runs a cash business as he doesn’t trust the Government with his money, but if you really want one, okay. So he asks if you have any paper and a pen. Okay…you find an empty envelope and he writes on the back of it, “Two really rare heritage hogs – $400″ and signs his name. He then says that it has really been pleasant meeting you but that he is late for something and so has to get going.

You really wanted to talk with him some more about how to raise these pigs and he says, don’t worry, there’s lots of information on the Internet and you can always call him if you have any questions.  You do ask him if there is anything you need to do while driving the six hours home, you know, like food and water (it is, after all, eighty degrees out)? He tells you, “Naw! Don’t worry, they’ll be fine! They are really rare heritage pigs and all heritage pigs are much better at handling heat than other pigs.” He then says goodbye and off you go, heading home with your really rare heritage pigs.

When you arrive home you look in the back of your truck and see the two piglets laying down. You think they are asleep so you shake the crate. One of them opens its eyes but the other remains still. You reach in and shake the still one only to find out that it is dead.

Oh man…

You take the one that is still alive and set it on the ground. It falls over and starts whining. The heat must have been the problem! So you grab the garden hose and quickly spray the piglet. It moves and after a few minutes is able to stand.

You take the one live piglet and move it out to your pasture. You give it some water in a pan. You watch the piglet but it doesn’t seem interested in eating the grass. (Must be the stress; I’ll check back tomorrow).

When tomorrow comes the piglet looks okay and is nibbling on the grass. Relief…

A few days later you notice the piglet has diarrhea and is looking skinny. You desperately call the farmer but get no answer. So you call your veterinarian but he says he knows nothing about pigs; he’s just a dog and cat vet.

A few days later the piglet looks better. All seems well.

Skip forward eight months…

The one really rare heritage hog you have is not looking like the pictures you have seen. It’s supposed to have floppy ears but it’s ears are standing straight up. It’s also supposed to be all black but it has some white hair growing under it’s belly. It is still only about sixty pounds and has always been pretty skinny. Shouldn’t it be a couple hundred pounds and real fat by now? And you’ve seen that it has a hard time walking; its legs are crossed…

You still have not received the registration papers for your one remaining pig. So you call the farmer to complain about not receiving papers and your remaining pig not looking like the really rare heritage hog it is supposed to be. After telling you that perhaps the pigs you had were not the ones he sold you, or telling you that he sent the papers to you long ago, and being really defensive, he said, “What do you want me to do? You chose the pigs that you got.”

“Well, you could give me my money back!”, you say.

The farmer tells you, “Did we sign a contract? Sue me!”

The result of this whole adventure is that you have decided that really rare heritage hogs are a bunch of crap. Never again! You sell your pitiful little pig at the auction for fifty bucks…

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This story is made up, but it was made from different true stories that I have heard from people to whom these things happened. They happened because no one told them the things to look for and things to avoid. That will be the purpose of part two and three of this series. I will explain the reality of the really rare heritage hog world and hopefully help you avoid the same fate as our imaginary person.

 

Buyer’s Guide

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

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